Several years ago, I was going through a divorce. Even though I was the one who initiated the breakup, I was struck with this ever-present feeling of sadness. It all came to a head during the holidays that year, when my kids went to their dad's family celebration and I was left alone for the weekend.
I decided that I was going to have a break-up like they do in the movies. You know the kind... I was going to be Bridget Jones (Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones' diary) and I was going to sit in front of my TV and eat and drink and cry into a box of tissues wearing pajamas. If I was going to be sad and alone, at least I could do it cute.
So, to prepare, I went to the store and got a bunch of "chick flick" movies. Not romantic ones, because that would make it worse, but the ones where Julia Roberts and company are sitting around exploring their feelings after someone dies. I wanted to jerk some tears! I also got wine, ice cream, cookies, frozen pizza, crackers, and every other kind of binge food I could possibly want. Oh, and tissues. I bought LOTS of tissues.
Friday night, I turned my phone off and popped in the first movie. It worked! I was crying and going through tissues like a preschooler on her first day. I started to feel a little better after the first movie but thought, "NO. I am being depressed right now." I put on the second movie and was continuing to be depressed when my best friend Pam called. We ended up laughing so hard that the crying was now tears of laughter.
Fine. So much for being depressed. I'd just go to bed and be depressed again tomorrow. (Please note that I am not minimizing clinical depression. This is not that. This is "movie industry depression.")
The next day I woke up and the sun was streaming through my windows. I had an entire weekend to myself! "But no. This is your weekend to be depressed. Get back to it." I got some coffee and a cinnamon roll and started the next movie. But, it wasn't working! I wasn't feeling sad. No matter what I did, I couldn't make myself be depressed anymore.
Fine, then. I got up, took a shower, and drove to the beach. Maybe I could do that sad lonely breakup walk while looking at other couples. Except, I ended up at the dog beach and the site of the cute dogs chasing tennis balls into the ocean was absolutely adorable. My Bridget Jones weekend was officially over.
What would have happened if I'd taken my negative emotions and tried to push them away? They likely would have gotten worse, much like a child who isn't being given attention.
As a health coach, I am often telling clients to "lean into" their feelings of discomfort. These internal triggers can cause unwanted eating and we then are left feeling worse than before.
An internal trigger is anything that causes us to feel like binge eating that isn’t a result of an external trigger. Do you recognize any of these triggers?
Hunger and Blood Sugar
Brain Chemistry
Gut Health
Negative Emotions
Positive Emotions
Wanting to “Zone Out"
Autopilot Eating
The key to managing internal triggers is to become aware of them. Does it mean you never give in? No, of course not. My Bridget Jones moment proves that the more you lean into discomfort, the faster it will go away.
As always, if you have any questions or suggestions, or a "Bridget Jones" moment of your own to share, message me at traci@tracishoblom.com. Feel free to forward this to a friend, too!
December Gratitude Challenge, Day 6: What is a smell you love?